The Split Pillow folks are working on their 5th installment of Chicago 360 – a documentary film competition. Next monday is the final day they are accepting submissions. Now you have to write pitches out on what you would like to document in your short documentary. And it has to use the theme “Aliens in the City.”

So I thought if you are in a pinch because you spent too much time this weekend partying with Lindsay at Lollapalooza, I could help with a few ideas. I’m nice like that. But all I ask for is future “consideration” and cash:

• There is supposedly a HUGE Coyote population downtown in the city of Chicago. Someone should do a documentary in the style/parody of Nature, following the Coyotes as they try to survive on Quiznos and scraps from the new Whole Foods.

• Why are there no Chic-Fil-A restaurants in Chicago? That seems alien to me.

• Someone should find someone who has dedicated their whole life to stopping the Asian Carp from getting into Lake Michigan. Not necessarily someone from the government, but someone who might be a rogue fisherman. Sort of like a Charles Bronson for the Illinois River. I’m sure someone exists.

• You know what I think of when I hear “Aliens in the City?” I think of 4 alien women sharing their stories from the galaxy and buying shoes. That would be an awesome documentary.

• You know who may be an alien?

Jerome.

Doesn’t he look like he could be inV?