A rude ‘Pig Virus’ infects WGN Radio
Everything that’s gone wrong at WGN-AM (720) in the past year can be summed up in two words: “Pig Virus.”
No, we’re not talking H1N1 here. “Pig Virus” is the nickname Howard Stern gave long ago to Kevin Metheny, the man in charge of programming at the Tribune Co.-owned news/talk station since January.
Under Metheny, an acolyte of Tribune Co. operating boss Randy Michaels (and one of nearly two dozen Clear Channel alumni Michaels brought in with him), WGN has shown disdain or disregard for listeners who felt a unique bond with the station and its personalities.
There was the needlessly ham-fisted way Kathy O’Malley and Judy Markey were run off the air after a phenomenal 20 years as midday duo. (Since they’re still being paid every penny of their contracts, what was so urgent that WGN couldn’t let them finish out as they’d planned and retire this spring?) There was the hiring of morning host Greg Jarrett, a capable broadcaster but one who’d never worked a day in his life in Chicago, to step right into the No. 1 job in local radio. (Jarrett almost lost me for good his first day on the air when he mispronounced “Devon Avenue.”) And there have been numerous other personnel and programming moves — in afternoons and on weekends, especially — that simply boggle the mind.
As Metheny continues to overhaul WGN’s programming with a bag of tricks he acquired working in some 16 markets over his career, the station’s hallmarks of honesty and truthfulness slowly are being replaced by posturing and attitude. If you listen carefully, you can hear it in the way some hosts stake out ludicrous positions or go off on phony tirades to provoke callers. (Metheny calls it “reality through a fun house mirror.”)
Unhappy staffers describe his management style as bipolar. “He has these bizarre mood swings where he’ll be incredibly vicious and mean one minute and then shut down and not talk to anyone,” said one insider. What some resent most is Metheny’s micromanaging, second-guessing and hectoring — precisely the type of behavior that earned him that unfortunate nickname when he butted heads with Howard Stern as program director of New York’s WNBC-AM in the early 1980s.
“He would memo me all these idiotic rules and ideas he had,” Stern recalled in his 1993 best-selling memoir Private Parts. “He came up with this complicated terminology to make it sound as if he knew something, but it was all mystification. Any idiot could go into radio. But he knew the vocabulary.”
Stern’s words are still true today. Here are some highlights from Metheny’s barrage of directives to WGN personalities:
- A memo banning the use of two words: ” ‘Coming Up.’ Can you possibly do without these two words? Can you possibly find a less hackneyed, transformed-by-20th-Century-Media-to-wallpaper vocabulary with which to tantalize your listener into sharing some 21st Century time with you?”
- A memo banning the use of one word: “Please dispense with the word ‘degrees’ when delivering forecasts and currents. I’m pretty sure we can be comfortable the temperature measurement increment is almost always degrees. Seldom is the temperature measured in Aardvarks, Ford Mustangs or Belly Button Lint.”
- A memo about giving away tickets: “Don’t do it. As discussed, tickets are accounting devices. The thing of emotional value is the EXPERIENCE. . . . I will cancel winning events in programs I hear referring to them in an inside out, hackneyed, old school lexicon. STOP selling the little pieces of paper. Sell the SWEAT!”
- A memo on the exact words to use when introducing news, weather and traffic reports: “No ‘creeping and beeping,’ no ‘how are the cars,’ no ‘thunder boomer report,’ no ‘let’s check the roads,’ no need to improvise, expand, amend, extend, truncate, evolve, devolve or otherwise improve. Perhaps we will get to that later. For now, do it this way. Do it only this way. Don’t do it any other way. No need to personalize, customize or otherwise revise. Regardless of time of day or day of week. Regardless of the magnitude of the digits on your W-2. Do it this way. When it’s time to do it another way, someone will let you know.”
- A memo setting forth Metheny’s philosophy on “takes” (or points of view hosts should adopt in order to provoke listeners): “Truthfulness is only an added benefit when it happens to drop into your lap,” Metheny wrote. “Truthfulness in takes optional. This is SHOW BIZ, not a court of a law.”
- The same memo, threatening dire consequences for disobedience: “I am sorry that is necessary to be unpleasant about this. If you’re struggling because you don’t understand, then please ask for help or we’ll presume you’re just unwilling to comply with the coaching. If you understand the concept and you’re noncompliant, there can only be two reasons: you’re unwilling or you’re unable. The reason doesn’t matter. The end result will be the same.”









You gotta talk more about this, Rob, because nobody is.
I’m not the most loyal ‘GN listener, but it WAS always something you could rely on. And I feel really bad for the truly loyal listeners – no matter how old they are.
What I don’t get about the whole new ignorant strategy is that it obviously can’t be based on any business plan. The station has killed most every other station in the ratings AND billing FOR YEARS. Yes, the demographic is not the most desirable for advertisers, but it hasn’t been FOR DECADES. Eventually, we all come back to silly ol’ WGN. And now these knuckleheads are screwing that up for nothing except the ability to put their own “stamp” on it.
Oh well, looks like the ratings are taking a dive, so these guys will be gone soon. Hopefully, the station can recover, and give me more than 20 minutes of programming an hour (AT BEST!!)
I have a different point of view. I am glad WGN brought Kevin Metheny on board. Why? Although I listen to a lot of radio, WGN was never on my radar screen. I always thought of it as the station for the geriatric crowd with nothing much to offer. Then, Kevin comes to town and all of the sudden, things start to get interesting. First, he had many “guests” for the open afternoon slot which increased my interest in WGN because I could hear a lot of different, talented (for the most part) folks do their thing. He then hires Garry Meier for afternoons who is really entertaining and does a great job with his show. He got rid of some of the old, stale shows that kept me from listening in the first place – he may still have to pay some of these people but to change the face of the station, they needed to go when they did. Where there are open slots, there are usually interesting guests including Bruce Wolf and others. He has made me want to listen to WGN where in the past – I would have never even considered it. I enjoy many of the new hosts including Greg in the morning. While I don’t like everything (I could definitely live without all the interruptions for traffic and weather), I listen to WGN fairly regularly now which I never would have done a year ago. While I tend to skew towards preferring music radio, Kevin is revitalizing WGN and is giving me a reason to listen to talk radio, at least some of the time.
It is very refreshing to have a PD in town that isn’t afraid to mix things up even though he is programming a heritage station like WGN where change may not be welcomed by everyone. While I can’t comment on his memos or management style, I can say that the end results for this listener have been positive.
Someone needs to take a 2×4 upside this jerks head. I’m surprised someone hasn’t done it already. There is no way I could work for someone like this. Why does management let him get away with such things? Aren’t there policies about treating people with respect?
Good to hear from you again Rob, wordsmithing better then ever.
I’ve been listening to WGN Radio since I was the kid (Jack Brickhouse and Eddie Hubbard are my earliest memories)thru Eddie Schwartz. I even checked out Kathy and Judy and still listen to Steve and Jonnie. I listened as Brick introduced the concept of “Sports Central” back in the early ’80s.
Let’s put it this way: If I need some info, WGN is not the first place I go anymore. It’s fingernails on a chalkboard now.
Having been in radio in the past and have numerous friends in the business, Methany is everything that is wrong with terrestrial radio now.
Ouch. That’s gonna leave a mark.
Lets remember the real problem with WGN is(PIG VIRUS – Sam Zell). Pig Vomit is only the hatchet man brought in to try and ramp up the station ad revenue. Can you say WWWWWWWWWgn.
Hi Rob. It’s great to have you back. There was certaining a void during your absence.
What do you think were the 10 most significant Chicagoland media stories during the past year that you did not get a chance on which to report? It would be interesting to see you list in a future column.
Rob:
Great to have you back writing about local media. Wow, sounds like a crazy environment to work. I would hate to work for this guy. I have liked the addition of Garry Meier in the afternoons…after a very uncomfortable few days on the air. He’s a funny guy and I think he fits WGN. Three additions that I haven’t liked are Greg Jarrett on morning drive and Jim Laski and Jerry Agar on weekends. On weekends, I swear I’m listening to WLS with all of its political, right-wing talk. Its a shame if Metheny ruins a good thing…he’s on his way.
All you need to know is —– ” w N b c “. . .
This story is why you have been missed Robert! As a fairly regular WGN listener I enjoyed knowing that WGN was a “solid” radio station. Thre was no shrill attacking and shrieking. There was discussion and balance. Now, too often, the station sounds like some of Metheny’s memos. If being “edgier” means sounding more like WLS I’m going to the sports stations and an IPod!
i’m an on and off listener to WGN and i just wondered how 2 of the most “eccentric”/non-standard shows have gone untouched. Steve and Jonnie and Milt Rosenburg are throwbacks to another time in radio. it’s nice to have some variety, but why aren’t they dropped or changing (not that i want them to). Seems like they would be the first on the “to change” list. Wonder how Milt does with the memos. Start looking at your 401K, Mr. Rosenburg.
In the name of all that is Gary Deeb, it’s d*** good to have you back.
Great column. It needed to be said, and Robert Feder is the only guy who could do it!
Milt Rosenberg probably identified the language of the memo as some offshoot of Sanskrit & sent it to U. of Chicago for verification.
“Truthfulness…is OPTIONAL?
so I guess that’s it. The loud, sucking sound that signals that we’ve finally reached the bottom.
Obviously, that works in TV on Fox News, but for some reason I believed that WGN could – would never choose to – succumb to such cynical tactics.
And beyond that, he’s dead wrong. Good Radio, more than any other modern medium, is all about truth.
That’s why Rush and Beck have been able to make so much money. They rely on the innate faith listeners have when hearing a passionate host pontificate…’ geez, if they’re THAT worked up, it MUST be true.’ They long ago decided to trade true patriotism and opinion for fat bank accounts preaching to a seething mass of rabid morons.
Sad to see WGN lowering itself into the cesspool.
But, in the absence of real talent or vision, i guess all this hack has are the tricks that every other douche in radio is using to eek out an extra dollar. The fact that he’s burying a good station in doing so is what bothers me.
Until the makers of radio stand up and refuse… like it seems some of WGN’s classier hosts are doing, especially during the afternoons, its going to keep getting worse.
Its our medium – Fight for it or embrace the dark side
Pig Vomit is a tool. . .it’s amazing that the guy can keep getting jobs at all. . .15 different markets. . .maybe he’ll find a 16th home soon once Tribune gets broken up and someone else buys the broadcast entities. . .
Rob…..I am glad to see that you are writing once again and I am even more
glad that I found you……Hope all is well with you and your Family…..
Dick Mitz (Mitroff) (on Facebook)
Another sad story in the once-great industry that is broadcasting. In the days that required diversity of ownership, the competitive employment options it brought would permit WGN employees to tell Metheny to stick the job directly under his curly tail, just as Howard did.
His shirt says everything that needs to be said about him. But Feder’s words were like the gravy on the mashed potatoes!
I thought Stern always called him “Pig Vomit”?
As a guy that always used to listen to WGN, I rarely do now. Just a bit of DiGilio now & then. It’s obvious Pig Vomit is going to dump Nick one of these days. Nick should have gotten a better time slot by now, what with all the changes.
But Rob, as a life long resident of Rogers Park, we often deliberately mispronounce Devon as a joke.
Rob: I thought Deeb left town and was securely freezing in Buffalo. But NO, you have tried to muck rake a great programmer who I have known since he was 16. His father is also equally brilliant.
Shame on you Rob Feder! The Howard Stern reference was totally out of line and uncalled for. Kevin was following his orders on Stern from NBC managment, Kevin took the “heat”. For me to comment on what I think of Stern has no relavence.
One of the most brilliant things that Randy did was to bring in Kevin. He has won many more “battles” than he has lost. WGN is lucky to have him …I have been through the battles of Chicago, and I were there now, I would even hestitate a minute to have that kind of talent on my team!
Ah, Co-conspirator – I thought the same thing. But Robert reminded me that the “Pig Vomit” was for the movie, not real life. In real life, he was “Pig Virus.”
last sentence is missing a word…before the word even,…there should be a NOT thanks
So now it makes sense! I heard Gary Meier talking sometime in the last couple weeks about how he was told he wasn’t supposed to ask callers, “How are you?”, and was teling callers not to ask him that either. Come on! Really?
WGN had become a favorite of mine, and I used to HATE talk radio. Since all the changes and micromanaging, it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and makes me switch stations.
Rob;
Excellent article on WGN radio. While Kevin Metheny is the poster boy for “radical radio” the problem goes much deeper than that.Their 25/54 demo has always been anemic at best and if it wasnt for baseball it would be non existent.As an advertising agency that specializes in marketing to the 50 plus demo, at one we time did buy WGN.That demo was thier strength. Not anymore.Even 50 plus will flee. Now thanks to Metheny’s heavy hand (And I’m sure there are higher ups who are pushing him!) there is a nasty knife edge attitude on the part of the hosts that I find offensive.They want to blow out the “oldies” and woo a younger demo and they want to do it in a hurry! May I point out that Chicago radio history is replete with call letters who went that route and failed.
P.S: Radio is no longer a business, its a disease!
Clark Weber
Clark Weber Associates.
Nice try Burt, but if my profession we refer to that as “The Old Freudian Slip”!
Good fake radio name though!
Forgot to say how wonderful it is to be reading your column once again! You were sorely missed, and it’s great to have you back!
Several items must be addressed. The Chicago quality that made WGN unique are virtually gone. Jarrett is generic at best. A few days ago Bob Sirott filled in for him and low and behold there was a coherent radio show.
The cast of clowns is remarkably bad, Gary Mier is recycled not to mention Simon and Jerry Agar. Quality, intellect and a sense of humor were the corner stone of WGN; this has been supplanted by mediocrety,generic and ranting radio.
Does anyone think Brandmeier could wind up at WGN with Metheny attempting to call the shots? The next time Johnny B. pays attention to a PD MEMO will be the first time!
Nice to be reading you again Mr. Feder…welcome back!
I couldn’t agree with you more about what Metheney has done to WGN. He seems bound and determined to put his thumb-print on the station, i.e., drive it into the ground. What’s the old adage…if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it? For DECADES, WGN has been, if not the top, then at least in the top five in terms of overall ratings and billing. As a long-time listener, I find myself opting for other choices (The Score, NPR) than constantly leaving my radio on 720.
Greg Jarret, for all his worldliness (gourmet, pilot, sky diver), and his ‘newsman’ background, comes across as pompous. I get a vicarious thrill out of listening to him when his clueless-ness about Chicago comes to the forefront. As a lifelong Chicagoan, I wasn’t aware that there was (according to Jarrett) a northeast side of the city. Perhaps it’s off of ‘Dev-in’ avenue. His arrogance really shone through when he corrected/informed John ‘Bulldog’ Drummond on the proper way to pronounce a gangster’s name(“That’s the way it’s pronounced in Italy.”). You could almost hear Drummond say “who cares”. It probably wasn’t the easiest transition to jump into one of the most coveted shifts in all of radio, but to instantly proclaim yourself a Cubs fan, and be a self-proclaimed ‘expert’ on the history and intricacies of Chicago politics is nothing short of vain.
John Williams is fine. Sometimes a bit of a know-it-all, but in the long run, probably the best person to replace Kathy and Judy. But like you wrote, why get rid of K&J? I didn’t listen to them religiously, but in the fairly male-centric world of radio, they could bring a refreshing point of view. Where else could you hear two women in their 60’s opine on things? Didn’t always agree, but at least that particular demographic had a forum. But the bigger issue was why get rid of them? They had a year left on their contract(s), were going to retire, so at least give them the opportunity to go out with a little style, class, and dignity. They served the station well for 20 years, at least let them go out on their own terms.
Sirott is fine as well. Savvy enough to when when to talk Chicago politics, and when to talk about hot dog stands.
The only smart move Metheney has made is hiring Garry Meier. Like a previous poster wrote, there were a few awkward days at the beginning, but he’s really seemed to hit his stride. He’s quick-witted, and probably has the best rapport with the news/weather/sports/business people. To me at least, the somewhat rigid format of WGN is almost a boon to Garry. On previous stations he had a tendency to sometimes paint himself into a corner. With either commercials, news or traffic always looming, Garry doesn’t seem to find himself in those tight spots that he used to.
Jerry Agar is totally un-listenable. A complete hack. Why he’s on TWICE on a Saturday is beyond belief. His “Jerry’s Kidders” segment is the absolute nadir of Chicago radio. Third-rate comics making fourth-rate jokes on week old news, guffawing all the way. Brilliant! Please leave the issues-oriented radio for M – F, and on the weekends give me some lighter fare. If I want issues, there’s other places to find them. As a station that promotes itself at the top of EVERY HOUR as the home of the Cubs, Blackhawks, and Wildcats, the LAST thing I want to listen to on a Saturday afternoon is Agar prattle on and on about how Daley is mismanaging the City.
Chicago radio listeners are very proprietary about their on-air personalities. One only has to look at the recent history of Chicago radio to see how poorly syndicated personalities and ‘outsiders’ have done here. One can talk demographics, skewing to an audience, and all the other buzz words that Metheney seems to be so fond of all they want. To a lot of people, WGN represented a certain ‘comfort-zone’. Not to say that change isn’t needed sometimes, but not in this way. I hope Metheney is out before he totally runs this station into the ground.
Gregg, that’s a pretty long comment.
Robert
First of all, I love that you are commenting on Chicago media… In regards to the terminology portion of your posting. In the past few years I have been doing talk radio, going to talk radio conferences and talking to various consultants. There is a nation wide school of thought that says some of the old terminology is outmoded. In the PPM world keeping the listener tuned in while you go to commercials is a huge challenge. Saying “we will be right back” is generally felt to be a tune out. Right back? Are you going some where? Instead the challenge is to device an effective”tease” that is compelling enough to hold the listener.This is not that different than music radio. Instead of just listing the artists that are coming up, ask a question about one of them that can only be resolved after the commercials are over. I love radio and I am so happy to see you have not lost your edge.
Great point Justin! Perhaps Gregg needs a memo!
Welcome back Robert !
Metheny is from the same cloth as Randy Michaels, the shock radio programmer who’s only claim to fame was in Tampa, Florida before Sam Zell backed him with Jacor Broadcasting that Clear Channel bought and made Michaels president of that company. He lasted a very short time before they terminated him.
Terry Metheny is as crude as Randy Michaels and will be at WGN as long as the station is under the control of the Zell forces. One can only hope a new owner rescues the station before it dies trying to attract a demograpic that no longer listens to AM radio.
Opps, Terry is Kevins dad….a nice man who as a programmer in the 60’s was nothing like his “kid.”
Randy Michaels took a foundering WLW (Cincinnati) in the 1980s and turned it into a monster. The work Michaels did there is still evident. Metheny makes good points regarding vocubulary, but the way to communicate them is not through heavy-handed emails and memos. The heart of any talk radio stations is in the energy of the performances of hosts. If you want to quickly disrupt the energy of the execution – the art of radio, yell at them about arcane and mostly unimportant verbiage – the science.
I like the comment, “Where else could you hear two women in their 60’s opine on things?” The answer is nowhere and for good reason. Their shreiking was both aggravating and tired. Everyday they were on, WGN stopped people from listening.
WGN has been a friendly and lazy radio station for generations. There have been hosts there forever who never worked to produce great radio. They played needle-bounce at a time when that just doesn’t get it done anymore. There is too much competition in the market to be happy with trying to hold on to the aging audience that remains.
I absolutely don’t understand the hiring of Greg Jarrett. This is Chicago. Did we run out of talented performers here? Who corrects the Bulldog? John Drummond knows more about Chicago and organized crime than anyone. In a city like Chicago, you need to speak the language. Faking it doesn’t cut it.
Radio is a tough business. Moving forward means you can’t stay where you are, and that risks alienating people who like it just the way it is. Moving forward is necessary, but the way to do it is by earning respect not through whipping people with high-handed memos.
Everyone Randy Michaels brings in has this Napoleon personality. Lee Abrams, Sean Compton, Kevin Metheny…everyone is a dick and not very talented. They are NIGHTMARES to work for. It all goes back to Randy Michaels who empowers these children.
Rob, like the others I’m glad you’re back. You set the standard on reporting about the radio industry and you HAVE been missed. I’ve known Kevin Metheny for years. I even have audio tapes of his dad, Terrell who was known (in another lifetime) as Mighty Mitch Michael on Radio WKLO 1080 in Louisville. The most hateful e-mail I ever received was from Kevin when I pushed him too hard on adding Bob & Tom to WMMS in Cleveland. On the flip side, the last time I saw Kevin it was at the funeral of Ed Buterbaugh, the brillant chief engineer of CKLW and WJR in Windsor & Detroit. Making the effort to attend that service really impressed me. Kevin Metheny is most certainly high-maintainance….but most truly creative people are. People are quick to judge. It takes time to rebuild a radio franchise, especially one like WGN. Both head-honcho Randy Michaels and ‘GN GM Tom Langmyer are smart broadcasters. Time will prove whether or not they’ve made the right move. I feel they have.
Art Vuolo, Jr.
“Radio’s Best Friend”
Detroit area
You forgot to mention anything about the memo sent set by Metheny to (newscaster) Jim Gudas which instructed him to “dumb” down his newscasts by being less accurate in his pronunciation of terms and less erudite in his delivery in order to more comfortably relate to his audience…
These people are killing full-service radio.
I realize that this is somewhat off of the point, but the Clear Channel mafia has infected the Chicago Tribune management as well… Have you seen the Saturday newspaper editions lately ? ? ?…
What I find curious is how they intend to fill the newsprint during their upcoming “no AP content” experiment since they’d previously gotten rid of 70% of their news and photo staff…
Maybe Opie and Arnold will offer them content from their Mayberry Maple Avenue News…
It is good to have you back, Mr. Feder. I am sad to say but I have given up on the Radio in Chicago. I liked WGN at one time, especially when Larry Shriner would come on or that other fellow who used to go to things and tell us where the fires and the murders were. If Larry or that other fellow were somewhere, you always knew that was where the action was happening! Now all I ever hear are people getting angry or talking rudely to one another about issues that I could care less about. I think Spike Odelle left at the right time. He would be very sad to see what a great radio station has turned into. It sounds like everything else!
My sons have given me satellite radio to listen to and it is all wonderful music and some funny stories as well. If I listen to Chicago Radio any more it is to John and Big Cisco on the morning show all the way over in the Polish part of the Radio Dial. They are funny men and make me laugh even though they don’t like very many people especially Mr. Obama.
Metheny can shake things up. However, there are positives and negatives to a shake up. Negatives include hiring people that have never worked in Chicago radio and trying to instantly pass them off as Chicagoans, hiring anal retentive hacks on the weekends that cannot come up with new topics, hiring guys with accents that somehow try to fake their own natural accent instead of trying to be themselves, and trashing your loyal, dedicated staff in memos.
The definition of a radio consultant: Someone who wears thier hat to the bathroom so they know which end to wipe.
How fabulous that you are back in Chicago writing about the truth behind the scenes of media in town. I am so grateful!
It is so wonderful that you are back writing about the truth behind the scenes in Chicago media. I have missed you! We all have missed you!
Boy! How we have missed you! Welcome back and look forward to your insightful columns.
Thank you for validating my observations as a frustrated WGN listener and general fan of radio. I find the current level of programing on a major disappointment. Up until recently, I would characterize myself as a loyal listener; waking up, going to bed, and enduring commuting with WGN on my radio. Now I can barely keep tuned to 720 before changing the station. I look forward to Nick, and will continue to follow my Cubbies on ‘GN, for I find very little of the remaining programing informative or entertaining. The one positive is that I have used the demise of my former favorite station, to become more familiar with the outstanding programing on Chicago Public Radio, WBEZ.
Robert:
Great column. Totally on with your assessment of WGN. The new regime has quickly turned a class act to a hard listen.
Mike
SO GOOD TO HAVE YOU BACK ROBERT! I’M SURE GLAD THAT THE WGN TOP SHELF IS BEING TAKEN TO TASK. PLEASE FIND A ONE WAY TICKET TO SAN FRAN FOR JARRET. HE’S AN ARROGANT JERK. I WAS GOOD WITH K & J BUT JOHN IS GOOD IN THAT TIME SLOT. HE SEEMS TO BE THE ONE THAT REALLY STARTED THE PHONEY TIRADES. I THOUGHT HE WAS WAY TO SMART FOR THAT GIMMICK. I REALLY ENJOYED JUST LISTENING TO JOHN BEING JOHN BEFORE. I’M LOVING GARRY MEIER ALOT…NEVER LISTENED TO HIM BEFORE. SO WHEN YOU GET THAT TICKET FOR GREG JARRET…GET ONE FOR COCHRAN AS WELL. USE TO LIKE HIM BUT HIS SCHTICK GETS OLD. EVERYTHING IS NOT A JOKE AND WHEN IT IS FUNNY HE JUST TRIES TOO HARD. AGAR IS GOOD ON WEEK-ENDS BUT I’M GETTING REAL TIRED OF ALL THE SPORTS. THOUGHT I HAD ESPN ON. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK AND KEEP THEM ON THEIR TOES.
Rob, for a year we have endured Lewis Lazare/Sun-Times trying to make his way through the business of broadcasting (although I enjoy his reviews of the advertising world) and the ever-whiney “Chicagoland Radio and Media” site. I am so glad you have returned.
Your article on WGN Radio is “spot on”. I just turned 40 and listen to WGN quite a bit over the summer, mostly due to our beloved Chicago Cubs (and now the Blackhawks too). Bob Sirott is really one of the top personalities on local radio. I also listened to Bob when I heard him mention he was sitting in for Greg Jarrett. It was one of the best morning drives to work I’ve had in a while! While he appears to be a respected journalist and has a great voice for radio, I couldn’t find Jarrett any more disconnected to Chicago. I truly believe the reason why Jarrett has respectable ratings is that WGN has “built-in” listeners that have WGN on from dawn ’til dusk. Garry Meier has really been a great addition to WGN’s lineup and Steve Cochran is truly one of the best, although I hear that management also has him (Cochran) “on the bubble”- what would be yet another tragic mistake. I too would listen to WGN Radio at dawn if Cochran or Sirott were leading the way. WGN Radio should pick up on WGN TV’s “Chicago’s Very Own”.
With the exception of the incredibly enjoyable and relatable Dean Richards and his Sunday Morning program, WGN radio on the weekends is unlistenable. I absolutely cannot turnoff the radio fast enough when Jerry Agar, Simon Badinter or Nick DiGilio are on the air. What a bunch of crap.
The incredibly smug and egotistical Metheny should retire from radio for good.
He’s a whack job who obviously thinks he invented the medium.
Radio is full of douchebags like this slug.
Great to have you back, Rob.
This article explains it all. As a former WGN listener of 25 years, I’ve noticed the change from a nice Chicago station to some annoying generic station that I could here anywhere in the country. Even the hosts that have been around for awhile are now being combative. If I wanted that, I’d be listening to WLS-AM. Now, I turn on AM-780 to get my traffic updates, and then go back to my iPod.
God I miss Wally, Bob, and Spike.
The ratings reflect the decline of WGN..
I agree with everything you wrote about WGN. Now look at TV Channel 7 News. What a disaster. They used to be very professional, now we get wrong video clips, people talking with no audio. Even dead air. They claim to be number one in Chicago, I think not. Without exception all the women should be fired, they are terrible. Sheryl Burton cannot read and keeps shouting TODAY, as if the news was about last week. I feel sorry for Ron, he sits there with a wry grin on his face, I bet he is thinking “get her out of here”.
I totally agree with your article! I do still enjoy John Williams, but do feel he is under pressure and that he is not always “himself”. He’s such a genuine person, I’m sure he’s having colitis attacks by now due to the edicts coming down from management to “change things up”.
To me, WGN was just like being home – now, after, almost 40 years of being a daily listener, I rarely turn on the station. Such a disappointment!
Greg Jarrett is a terrible interviewer.. he takes the easy way and never asks any real tough questions. Put on john williams.
Howard Stern was just talking about your article on sirius, so I had to come read the article myself.
Look at Howard and look at Pig virus careers, I can’t believe someone actually hired him… W-NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN BC
Glad to have you back!!
Sorry he’s Pig Vomit..
I totally agree with your view on the destruction of WGN. I can’t listen any longer. The hiring of Jarrett and Meier, along with top management, were mistakes which will continue to drag ‘GN down. It’s sad!!
ROBERT…
I look forward to reading you again. Hope you are well. Mark Pinski
Robert, Just heard from Steve Langford on Howard 100 News (Sirius XM Radio) his reference to your article on Pig Virus. Sounds like he hasn’t changed anything but his addresses after all these years! Welcome back. Dag
Robert:
Great to have you back. Couldn’t agree more with the comments about WGN. However lame much of their programming has been over the years, it has been consistently local and loyal to what that audience wants. I was never a fan of “The Girlfriends,” but if it’s that or Jerry Agar, give me Kathy and Judy. Jerry Agar…my GOD! How low can you go.
At the risk of having this comment not posted, I wonder if there isn’t a small degree of similarity in the methods of Metheny and WBEZ’s Torey Malatia? He has genuine successes and has done a great job promoting certain shows to national exposure, so I don’t want to color him as looney as Metheny, but the disregard for longtime listeners in pursuit of a “younger” demographic (WGN’s idea of “younger” is admittedly a bit indecipherable) and putting resources into questionable endeavors like Vocalo suggest a similar disconnect. I think history has shown public radio is something people grow into and, until your hiring, all Vocalo has seemed to be is a college radio experiment gone wrong. But perhaps your hiring is an indication that Malatia is starting to see his mistakes as Vocalo bleeds money. I know WBEZ is your employer now, so you may have to tread carefully. Perhaps Vocalo is still embryonic enough that this comment will see the light of day and spark some conversation.
Again, great to have you back.
Robert,
Your article on the decline at WGN fails to mention how the station has lost touch with its audience when it puts people like Garry Meier on in the afternoon. He may be moderately interesting to those who like things blue or adolescent, but he makes many people uncomfortable. His shtick seems to be a misunderstanding of the issues and of people. He expresses his own ideas that seem unresearched and scattered. When he does not understand something he goes on with his opinion or requests other opinions from his audience, other know-nothings. Why not get have an assistant get on the phone and contact someone who _does_ know something or at least look it up on the Internet.
Sometimes my radio is on WGN when I turn it on in the afternoon, but it does not stay that way long.
Wow, pig virus is a complete disgrace. This column brought back the nightmare people I worked for when I was in radio. All of the mundane and irrelevant rules that make no difference, the complete disdain for honest opinions and personality, and an atmosphere that sucks all the creativity out of the air. I am enjoying the fall of radio as a mainstream medium, it deserves it.
It’s funny — I had the same cringing reaction when Greg Jarrett mispronounced “Devon”. Not that it was his fault; he was pronouncing the name as most non-Chicagoans would have pronounced it (British style). That’s the very problem, though: he’s not a Chicagoan and WGN should not have hired someone so evidently unconnected with the city and the station to do morning drive. It’s been shown again and again that Chicagoans like their radio local, and no other station has been as local as ‘GN (for better or worse), and no other show on that station has been as local as the morning drive show. Plopping a complete outsider into that slot is bizarre.
To me, ‘GN is kind of like Kiddieland: quaint, antiquated, a relic of the distant past, even a bit cheesy. But it’s something that will be keenly missed when it’s gone, and something that no one will be able to reconstitute once it’s been dismantled and turned into just another Costco. I appreciate the vagaries of ratings, PPM’s and the rest of it, but the fact is that Chicago needs ‘GN. It needs a station that is folksy and friendly and local. Rather than unceremoniously jettisoning Kathy and Judy, the station should have been trying to develop the next generation of that type of show, which was well described by one columnist as the heart and soul of WGN. In fact, they should be trying to develop a new generation entirely of the type of talk they’ve been so good at. Find the next John Williams or Garry Meier or, for that matter, Milt Rosenberg. That type of talent has got to be out there, and there’s got to be a place for them in the terrestrial radio universe.
I’m not sure I like you Mr. Feder…but like you, I like radio. And I am sure I don’t like Kevin Metheny- If your description of this guy is accurate, I can’t understand how someone like that is good for any business. Bipolarity or unpredictable moods, micromanagement down to level of single words, and haughtiness are not good leadership qualities. And authorizing the use of dishonesty to create interesting stories is completely unnecessary in this wacky world we live in. One thing is for certain- Jonathon Brandmeier will never be on WGN…not as long as this Metheny character is there. And Garry Meier is doing a nice job considering…
Pig Virus is the epitome of everything that’s wrong with radio today. There always seems to be a place in broadcasting for knuckleheads like him. Loved Paul Giamatti playing him in Private Parts. Double-u N! b.c. What a putz.
Stern called him Pig Vomit, not Pig Virus.
“DisappointedinSam” (11.04.2009 09:20 post) both garbles and misattributes to Kevin my work with the WGN News staff, encouraging a more relaxed and conversational delivery style. The goal is to sound smarter and more authoritative, not “dumbed down.”
Sorry, Mr. Feder I guess I do like you. And if I ever catch up to Warner Saunders, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.
:)
It is “Pig Virus”. For the movie it is “Pig Vomit”. It had to be changed for legal reasons.
Bob…
First, three cheers to have you back…in any format! Smarts are hard to come by these days, and you have always had them.
Regarding WGN: As a long term Chicago broadcaster who grew up (though some might argue THAT point!) listening to WGN, I’ve always felt as if 720 was part of my DNA. Even though I made the rounds of WLS, WMAQ, WIND, WCFL, WJJD, I’ve felt a kinship to WGN. But now….now….what can we make of a station that entrusts its income and its future to someone who has to write sarcastic and teeth-grinding memos?
I’ve worked for that kind, and I can win the argument that such program directors have little knowledge to go with the power; rather they wave that power like a sword.
The memos churned out at ‘GN show a phony at work.
Having worked for Metheny clones I can assure you and your readers WGN is now in the hands of someone set on a course aimed directly at a brick wall. Leadership by smart-mouthing, sarcasm, and threats is leadership bereft of maturity and the ability to create a team spirit.
Look for WGN to nose dive once the Cubs find another outlet – as surely they must when the current contract is over; and look for WGN to head for the Michigan Avenue ratings sewer as long as station leadership is in the hands of an emotional executive who substitutes ability and marks of true leadership with a heavy hand and denigration of co-workers.
Sounds as if ‘The Voice of Chicago” is becoming a whisper caused by a sore throat. An infection, maybe!
Bob Hale
Clearly the “powers that be” at WGN are a bunch of losers. They will drive that station into the grave faster than any recession. I would rather have H1N1 then listen to another minute of the “talk” at the “lovepump”.
I am tired of turning on WGN and ending up with Agar up in his pulpit telling everyone–the callers and the listeners how he is right and everyone else is wrong–what an ego. Now he had also managed to ruin weekend radio and any other time he fills in for others. And Jerry’s Kidders–how desperate can he get and we have to listen or use that little option–the OFF switch. Management better take a good look at their line up. And what’s this nonsense about not asking the host how they are and they can’t do the same–no manners in the management office again and how trivial. Another executive who can’t find his way home without his rule book! And since when would WGN appeal to the really young crowd that they are trying to capture–the younger people are all out there listening to music on their I-Pods and are not one bit interested in talk radio. Wake Up WGN!!
This SOOO explains the mess WGN has become! I’ve listened for thirty years now, since shortly after leaving the Chicago area. I couldn’t watch my Cubs any longer so I went to WGN to listen to them and found a wonderful new family. A family which has been destroyed! Not destroyed by death, as when we sadly lost Uncle Bobby, or by attrition as people just naturally left but by an idiot/egomaniac/whatever he is. I miss Kathy and Judy so much. There needs to be an outlet to talk about some of the silly things of life-with a female point of view. I used to wake up to WGN on my clock radio, no more. Greg Jarrett is just boring. WGN was on almost 24/7. Not any more, it’s flipped on and off (mostly off) depending on who is on. I even missed some Cubs games because I hadn’t had the radio on much and didn’t hear the time of the game the next day. K & J are gone, as are Spike, Max, etc. Stop this bleeding before it’s too late to fix it. WGN was so uniquely Chicago, not any more it could almost be anywhere. :’(
Oh, and they need to get rid of that Simon guy. He’s obnoxious, rude and has no clue what this country is about – I don’t care HOW long he’s lived here!
I’ll bet Wally Phillips is rolling over in his grave! Sorry to say, I don’t listen to `GN any more!! I work when John Williams is on, so I never get to hear him any more. He was the only one left that I enjoyed!! RIP WGN!!!!
I try to listen to Mr. Jarrett daily.
I really try.
I want to listen.
I can’t.
He is too wordy.
Just give us the facts, Greg.
Quit explaining.
What kind of mismanagement is this for WGN? It looks like this guy is running the station into the ground! What listener’s will be left after he takes the employees apart? Where is the creativity if he is constantly telling those on-air personalities what to say and how to act?
I do not see WGN lasting for long! I feel bad for all the faithful employees: Steve, John, Steve and Jonnie, even the traffic and weather reporters.
They sound like robots! There will be those who have to find other stations to work at to feel creative again! The listeners (I have been one for 25 years), will vanish- I like creativity and thoughtfulness- and kindness. That is how to treat employees!
The best part of WGN was that it used to feel like a dialogue that included us, the listeners. Even if we didn’t call in, we knew someone who felt the same way would call in, and we could listen along, nodding and mentally sharing in the conversation. Now it feels like a monologue that’s being performed AT us.
Greg Jarret is a passive-aggressive egomaniac, constantly pretending he is providing balanced news, but never passing up a chance to slip in some dig at Obama or anyone who supports him. Every guest he has is sympathetic to his position, and Greg just tosses them question after question designed specifically to get the person to say what he wishes HE could say (if he weren’t so “balanced”!) From the tone of the emails he gets, he’s not fooling anyone!
And you know, that would be fine – even that blowhard Agar would be fine – if Chicago had that type of mentality. But Midwesterners don’t operate that way. We are folksy, friendly, and even a bit cheesy – just like the station used to be! And I’m so resentful that Metheny has destroyed the station I grew up with, and stuck with all these years. And I’m glad for this column that allows me to once again join in a dialogue with other listeners!
Yeah right… by the way Charlie, was your ‘more relaxed style’ behind Andreas effort to become a U. of Ill. Board of Trustees member as well ???
I listened to Jarrett for roughly 4 1/2 shows…I was trying really hard to give him the benefit of the doubt…He lost big time. Gary Meir…can’t listen to him..never could never will. I like John Williams, but feel he has been compromised too much…makes me sad to listen so I don’t try.
I have been listening to WGN for 15 years…mostly for the Girl Friends…then later in the day John Williams. I would listen all day at work…made me happy.
Now I rarely tune in unless I know that Bob Sirrott is filling in and occasionally I remember to tune in for the noon show.
I used to think WGN had a nice mix of personalities and philosophical and political leanings…now it leans to the far right way too much for me.
Is the whole country becoming right-wing teabagging bible thumpin hipocrits? Or am I just in the middle of a really bad nightmare?
Kathy and Judy you are truly needed…and missed.
Clearly you have no clue how radio works from the inside. WGN needs an “off frame” restoration. Seems like it was only yesterday they were doing pig news for and hour or more at noon. Wait it was yesterday. WGN – Worthless Geezer Network
Hmm…who is this “programmer”? Well, you may be right. The people lodging complaints may have no idea “how radio works from the inside.” You see, listeners aren’t supposed to. They listen from the outside, where the programming assaults their senses…in a world where lingo like “off frame restoration” is meaningless business babble.
I was never a fan of WGN, but oddly I listened often because it was local and driven by personalities who sounded different — for better or worse — than other stations. Maybe it has been the “Worthless Geezer Network” (though ad revenues suggest it had a lot of worth), but now it’s the Worthless Station with No Discernible Identity or Talent. And this non-fan is now largely a non-listener.
And it’s a station, not a network, “Programmer.”
So, are you Kevin Metheny, or just someone trying to kiss up to him?
So true- listeners are on the outside-and I prefer to keep it that way!
As a listener, I appreciate good shows and like to hear good information.
I am not happy with those radio hosts who badger and bully me as a listener!
I think they talk down to us and I want to be treated with respect!
Radio hosts have become so negative and nasty in their use of the English language. I hope someone in the radio biz is listening from the inside and outside!
What amazes me is that a station like WGN has gone from 1st to worst in this short of a time. What happened to WGN is that they’ve lost most of their personalities they had that made them great. Maybe Kathy and Judy werent the best broadcasters (Judy hardly ever ran the show solo), but they were entertaining. Spike O’Dell was the same; got the news across with still that folksly entertainment. John Williams is still on (thank goodness they pulled the plug on him in the mornings) but I still havent figured him out for the years he has been on the radio; is he too hip for the room or is he the town doofus so naive that he doesnt get it? One way or the other John!
Steve Cochran has become a 3 hour commercial for Steve Cochran and his friends. What used to be entertaining, has become boring and way too predictable.
The only ones worth listening to on WGN now (besides sports programming) is Nick Digilio, who is still entertaining as ever; Steve and Johnnie, who havent had to deviate from their good entertaning 6 hours of broadcasting and Dean Richards, who should be the new Roy Leonard; full entertainment.
By the way, Rob, its great to have you back. Its nice to see you back in the saddle covering Chicago media the way it should.
Isn’t it great that, at a time when columnists point to the lack of passion that listeners have for radio, Kevin Metheny has ignited interest in an AM radio station? I’ve long enjoyed your columns, wether I agree or not, and the blogs that follow your articles are ALWAYS entertaining. Listeners seem to be hating WGN every day … day after day … ain’t it great?!?!
I have listened to WGN since I was a 14 year old laughing hysterically at Bob Collins and Carl Greyson “play radio” from 7-9 p.m. I still listen today at age 46, and lament at the decline of the greatest station in all of American radio. Jarrett is solid, but truly not Chicago or Midwestern. He would be best suited as Felicia’s sidekick a few notches up the dial. Williams is not a morning man, and in a better slot. Sirott, Gary and Cochran are all great, with Cochran being the personality the station should build around. He gets Chicago, he gets the Midwest (where WGN plays very well) and truly gets the medium of radio. He is the best addition to the station since Bob Collins, and to lose him would be tragic. Even the loss of the Noon Show on Saturdays as it virtually vaporized overnight was curious and tragic, and saw the end of Max Armstrong, a truly great broadcaster. I have met Mr. Metheny and it is clear, he is most impressed by himself. He thinks he is smarter than everyone else, and everyone who meets him knows otherwise. Only a sale of WGN will save this from the abyss alienate the World’s Greatest audieNce.
Vocalo is hardly a bastion of good radio. You guys are the reason I stopped giving money to ‘BEZ.
All of you are missing the point. Kevin is a solid programmer who is trying to rescue a dying station. As previously constituted, WGN-AM had no chance for success as it was old fashioned, irrelevent and boring. It is now becoming more interesting and vibrant. More Chicago. Greg Jarrett is a news legend and we are happy to have him in the morning. For once, mornings on WGN-AM move. Now we have to do something about the old fashioned, unlistenable newscasts. Get into the 2000’s folks! Don’t be hatin’!
So, what was wrong with Kathy & Judy? They were not “old fashioned”! They kept up with the times. Besides the WGN listening audience has lots of baby boomers- me included. WE who are experienced in life enjoyed K & J! We would love Bob Collins if he was still on too! The station had listeners of all ages.
There was laughter and serious subjects discussed.
Now, there are depressing and down subjects repeated over and over to get emotional reactions. I do not call that a formula for success.
And I am not a hater as you call those of us who choose to disagree with the present stations decisions to go with “Talking Heads”, we want our opinion known. We used to promote the station to friends- but not anymore. The audience has been thinned out- and that will determine the bottom line!
“A Listener?” Related to “Programmer,” I wonder? “We are happy to have him in the mornings.” Who’s “we?”
I think as of April, WGN was still the number 2 station for ad revenue. Maybe the questionable People Meters suggest that might change, but these changes seem akin to burning good money because the value of the dollar is falling. Premature and stupid.
I would agree the station was “old fashioned, irrelevent and boring,” but it had a huge, loyal audience with those qualities. Now it is just “new, annoying, irrelevent and boring.”
Thanks for explaining the ban on the word “tickets”. I could never figure out why the promos for Greg Jarrett’s always said, ” … and we’ll take you to a Cubs game …” or something weird like that. It never made sense and I wondered if they were talking about giving away tickets or a live remote or something else.
P.S. Great column! I just rediscovered you through Lars’ web site.
I do think that the changes on WGN are unfortunate. Taking Kathy and Judy off was a huge mistake. They made us laugh and think every day. I have loved
John Williams since he first came on..he is cerebral and funny and he does not take himself seriously. He can laugh at himself and is open to other opinions. I find that I like Greg Jarrett, and maybe Chicago needs some outside opinions. It cannot hurt. It is time for Steve Cochran to go. He
has become a one shot venue..comedy. Garry Meier has some intelligent things to say but needs to remember that he is no longer talking to 20 year olds. Bathroom humor is overdone. When he is on his game, its good radio. I only listen to the radio Monday thru Friday during the day. I listen because I want to be entertained but I want to be mentally challenged also.
Whoever is the source of the lack of consistency is good radio lately..get rid of them
I’ve been horribly disappointed with the changes that WGN has made, and it’s significantly dropped the amount that I listen. I have Jarrett and Williams on in the morning, and sometimes Sirott, but after 1PM I don’t have WGN on until the next AM unless I’m up late enough to turn on Steve & Johnnie. Weekends are worse – Lou until 9 on Saturdays, sometimes Dean Richards on Sundays, but last time I looked the rest of the weekends was a wasteland.
Heck, I don’t even listen to the Cubs much anymore – I don’t track the game times, so I miss the games because I don’t have WGN on.
It’s a sad decline.
I love Rick Kogan- he makes my Sunday mornings. I learn a lot about Chicago and what’s happening.
I still listen to John and Jarrett each morning too. But in the afternoon I get tired of oldies but goodies time.
I turn the dial a lot now-never used to. Good Chicago radio is a thing of the past I am afraid. If there is too much “Conservatism radio”, I turn the dial.
John interviewed Ann Colter today; what a disaster! She was pushy and rude with a giant ego. What was he thinking?
Kevin “Pig Virus” Metheny! Ha! What a joke. Nice wacky promo pic there.
I’m a little late on the comments, but just heard Dean Richards (one of my faves) say his commercial job taken away. I was panicky for a moment that the Sunday show was going to be gone. I already stopped listening to the Saturday morning show which hasn’t been the same since the Roy Leonard days. Loved when John Williams did it, but the constant change of hosts got old fast. It’s not fun anymore; serious, serious, serious. My biggest complaint is WHERE IS NICK? I wait all week for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights to hear Nick, but Cubs games and Hawks games always seem to interfer. Fine, I get it; the games are important. But last week Steve and Johnny were gone and Nick always filled in – no Nick, just BORING Jim Laskey. Nick also used to fill in during the day – no Nick. He has a huge following – get rid of him and I’m done. After the Kathy and Judy let go disaster, it’s getting harder and harder to listen to WGN. Still love John and Gary Meier is fun, but there is no continutity. Every time I turn on the radio, there is someone new. By the way, JERRY AGAR – yuck! “The times they are a chang’n” and not for the better. Hang in there John, Nick, Dean.
Well, at least this explains the mood swings of WGN lately. I always used to listen, but now I find myself tuning into other stations.
You could always count on WGN for news, but that has been screwed up by the new powers that be. The station is starting to go back to it, but not fast enough. “Emergency closings are on our website”- who has time in the morning to check it out.
Greg Jarrett should do a show for MENSA people, as he feel he needs to explain info to us. I think he may be on the way out, as when he first got to Chicago, he mentioned looking for a house and now he isn’t bringing it up anymore. He has started to give up looking for freebies for food and various attractions (thankfully).
I think John Williams should go back to being himself. It seems as though his job has been threatened and the bosses wavering on what they want has him desperately trying to please the powers that be.
Garry Meier was fine going solo, but I have to turn him off due to Elton Jim laughing at everything ( that drives me crazy).
Cochran is fine.
I too wish Nick Digilio was on more.
Simon the french dude and the News Junkie should be gone. Jerry Agar can be very overbearing.
I like Steve Bertrand, Orion is hanging on. I miss Max Armstrong and Wes Bleed.
I liked Kathy O’Malley and miss Speak Your Piece- Jarretts’ version sucks as he feels the need to explain and paraphrase (on a first grade level) what people eloquently say.
Sad to see a proud and respected station go down the crapper.
I believe the epithet used by Howard Stern was “Pig Vomit,” not “Pig Virus.” It weakens your credibility when you don’t get your facts straight.
Whether you like them or not, Randy Michaels and Kevin Metheny have experienced huge successes as programmers of radio stations. And, like it or not, in the end, it’s all about ratings and revenue. Whatever doesn’t support those ends will be sacrificed. That’s always the way it’s been in commercial radio, and it will likely always be this way. If you can’t stand the heat, get a real job.
Pig Virus…best name ever.
RIP WGN.
And where is Bob Sirott at noon time? I miss his voice. He announces the names of shows but not on until Sunday nite. Another change?
The management is acting erratically.
Bravo. An excellent assessment and commentary on the demise of WGN. I quit listening to WGN a week into Greg Jarrett’s appearance. The fundamental reasons that I listened to WGN for years no longer are there. I’ve moved on to WBEZ Public Radio. WGN has lost my ear and my trust.
hi great article on john records i was a big fan also i think that was clark weber,i heard clarke weber on the scott alan show about a year ago.scott does a great interview. clarke weber was the best dj in chicago. thanks matt
Great photo of Kevin “Porky” Metheny… “I smell bacon!”